A New Birth

From the first breath of life, a pattern was established - a newborn girl met with maternal indifference, a mother overwhelmed by her own psychological demons. Through haunting poetic verse, this deeply personal narrative traces the shadow that childhood trauma casts across decades, threatening to engulf the next generation in its darkness.

When the narrator becomes a mother herself, she faces her most terrifying reflection - seeing her own brown-eyed daughter suffering under the weight of inherited emotional patterns. "Depression grew worse from the story repeating resentment, the curse." It's at this breaking point that transformation becomes possible.

The turning point arrives through meditation - a practice embraced with desperate hope and surprising efficacy. What follows is a profound journey of healing that extends beyond mere self-help into radical acceptance. The narrator develops compassion not only for her child but remarkably for her own mother: "Lost in despair, caught in the web, stuck unaware." This perspective shift opens the door to genuine liberation from generational wounds.

Most powerfully, this story reminds us that breaking cycles of trauma requires both conscious awareness and decisive action. While acknowledging that perfect healing doesn't mean flawless living ("I swerve now and then"), the narrator demonstrates how acknowledging our wounds without being defined by them creates the possibility of a different future: "I know where I'm headed. Won't repeat again." For anyone wrestling with family patterns that seem inescapable, this testimony offers both hope and a roadmap toward healing.

This episode is also available in the Voice Within: a Storybook by Storytellers Edition I.

Here is the link to an interview with Rachel Faith, conducted in 2022.

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Chapters

• 0:02 A New Birth Begins
• 0:48 Childhood of Maternal Dysfunction
• 1:19 My Own Daughter's Birth
• 2:16 Meditation Breaks the Cycle
• 3:13 Finding Peace Beyond the Past

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

A new birth. A baby was born. This baby was me, a girl with brown eyes. But how will she be Her mother? Unwell, filled with disdain, contempt, paranoia, the brink of insane. The nurse told her outright I won't survive A few minutes of breast milk. She can't possibly thrive. From my crying, which rang fierce to the nurse, my mother took flight. The bottle, the curse it drowned out. The sound, the whispers of blame when her own mother wrapped her up tightly in shame.

Speaker 1: 0:48

Through the wake of my childhood I tried to lay low mum's outbursts of temper, the regular show. The years travelled slowly dismay at the wheel, swerving for potholes, keeping it real. At the wheel, swerving for potholes, keeping it real. When adulthood found me, it laughed in my face, presented a future in poor form and taste. The years crept by cruelly, with angst at the wheel, I cursed and I blamed. I tried to not feel. A baby was born, that baby, my girl, with brown eyes so open and one little curl. This baby is so helpless. But how will she be with a mother so broken? That mother was me.

Speaker 1: 1:41

As days turned to weeks, depression grew worse from the story repeating resentment, the curse by one year. My baby was not faring well, her crying. Her sadness was trying to tell. Eruptions of anger affected her too. Then, one day, I realised, knew just what to do. I made a decision to conjure a more replenish, rejuvenate, heal and restore this baby. She held the key to my heart, so I flung it wide open. We made a fresh start.

Speaker 1: 2:20

I heard of the cycle repeating the past. So I learnt meditation. I learnt this skill fast. I had nothing to lose except fear, pain and grief. Within weeks it was working. I felt some relief. I kept up the practice and let myself hope that insight and wisdom would help me to cope. As feelings of kindness came sat down by me, I welcomed them fully, for I could now see. My mother meant no harm. Lost in despair, caught in the web, stuck unaware Acceptance, she trespassed, drove into my soul, embracing my wounds, thus making me whole. A new birth arisen. I shed the last tear. My childhood forgotten. I shifted the gear. Now the years go by so fast, I blink it. My childhood forgotten. I shifted the gear. Now the years go by so fast, I blink. It's a year. This happens in space-time. Devoid of the fear, I'm travelling gently. I swerve now and then, but I know where I'm headed. Won't repeat again.