Emergence

Mama Earther finds a young woman she calls "Cockroach No-Breath" near death in a cave and dedicates herself to bringing her back to life. Over two years, through patient nurturing and unconditional love, she helps the traumatised woman—renamed "Sunshine"—recover physically, emotionally and spiritually until nature itself intervenes to restore her will to live. 

"Emergence" takes us on a haunting journey of a young woman who has retreated from life itself.

The story unfolds in three distinct movements. First, we witness the discovery of "Cockroach No-Breath"—a once vibrant young woman now reduced to a skeletal, barely-breathing form after suffering devastating abuse. Guided by intuition and disturbing dreams, Mama Earther finds her just in time, cradling her back to physical existence through patient, loving care.

The second movement chronicles the painstaking rehabilitation process spanning more than two years. We observe the glacial pace of healing as the renamed "Sunshine" progresses from complete helplessness to tentative independence. Most poignant is her journey back to language—from muteness to whispers, to single words, and finally to storytelling. Mama Earther's methods blend practical care with spiritual nourishment, always gently guiding Sunshine toward self-responsibility rather than dependence.

The final movement reveals Sunshine's origin story through her own voice. She is a naturally questioning spirit who sought love but found abuse that confirmed her deepest fears of unworthiness. The transformative moment arrives through a mystical encounter with a seemingly dead tree that suddenly bursts with radiant light, speaking directly to her soul: "You are exquisitely made and of value, and life is a precious gift." This profound reconnection with life's essential energy marks the true beginning of her emergence.

Have you ever witnessed the slow rebirth of something you thought was lost forever? This story reminds us that healing from profound trauma requires both loving human connection and moments of transcendent awakening. Listen now and rediscover what it means to truly emerge from darkness into light.

This story is available in the anthology Voice Within: A Storybook by Storytellers Edition III.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Cockroach No-Breath's Discovery
• 5:50 Mama Eartha's Healing Embrace
• 11:20 Sunshine's Path to Recovery
• 16:11 Regaining Voice and Communication
• 16:40 Luna's Story and the Radiant Tree

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Emergence by Leigh Rickwood, part 1 Cockroach No-Breath. When Mama Earther found Cockroach No-Breath, she was curled up in a tight ball, fetal-like in a dank, shallow depression in the dirt floor. In the furthest, darkest reaches of the cave. Cockroach No-Breath lay there perfectly still pale, skeletal, cadaver-like. Powerful callings from nature, her intuition and a nightmare had led Mama Earther to the cave. Had she arrived too late, she bent down and gently lay her hand on the young woman's icy, cool back. Relief washed over her when she sensed the barely discernible movement of a weakened heart beneath her palm. If cockroach no-breath registered her presence, she made no sign that she had done so. Yet there was hope. Mama Eartha stayed like this senses, alert, both of them motionless, pouring the warmth of her hand and heart into the young woman, until the merest flicker of eyelashes on sunken cheeks and a slight increase in breath intake indicated a shift in Cockroach No-Breath's condition. It was an excruciatingly slow process, but micro-step by micro-step, mama Eartha could sense the young woman's consciousness returning to her body, consciousness returning to her body. Over an hour had passed before Cockroach No-Breath and her closest left eye opened, and it took another age before the eye seemed to focus. Equally slowly her right eye opened and in time also focused. Opened and in time also focused. With the slow return of consciousness and sight, cockroach no-breaths eyes looked to Mama Eartha like polluted ponds. Their expressions blank, the eyes of a broken soul. She was so weak, there was still no movement in her body. Asking permission and recognising a barely discernible ascent deep in cockroach Nobreth's eyes, mama Earther lay down beside her and, as a mother would, wrapped the young woman in her arms and body, willing warmth and life back into her. Inside she spoke the words I have enough loved for the both of us and more.

Speaker 1: 2:53

Mama Eartha had witnessed Cockroach No-Breath play at the nearby waterfall when she was a young girl. Fearless, she'd leapt from the top of the waterfall and sometimes, coming alone, had taught herself to do tumble turns and backflips from that great height. When she'd come with the gang of kids from her seaside village, she hadn't been one of its leaders, she'd operated from its fringes. Yet the effect of her fearlessness and courage on the group was one of inspiration and helped add a boldness to the group's curiosity and adventures. A year or two ago, now blossoming into a radiant young woman, she'd returned to the waterfall for the first time in many years with a young man whom Mama Eartha had never seen before. Obviously deeply in love, mama Eartha had moved away deeper into the rainforest to give them their privacy.

Speaker 1: 3:50

And then, last night, the young woman had come to her in a dream, introducing herself as Cockroach Nobreath her body alive and moving, but with her flesh rotting and stinking on the bone, black tears streaming down her face. It had been an epic dream where scene after scene flashed before her of the young woman's romance with the man from the waterfall, entered into with a totally trusting and innocent heart, disintegrating into one of sadistic, emotional, physical and sexual abuse, shocking, scene after shocking scene, reinforcing her intuition and the messages from nature. The lived horror of the dream had prompted today's search. Mama Eartha felt a slight shiver course through the young woman's body, a stirring of life from deep within her weak muscles and featherweight bones. Mama Eartha began to move with her, lifting herself into a squat and gathering the young woman up into her arms, rising with her to carry her to the pool below the waterfall. She lay the young woman gently in the sunshine at the water's edge, made a knot in the hem of her own skirt, soaked it in the water and put it into the young woman's mouth for her to suck, with everything moving in slow motion. She repeated this action many more times. She then began stretching out and wiping down the young woman's naked body. This exertion, though, was too much for the young woman, and before long she once again curled back into a fetal position and drifted off, gathering all of her things back into her sling bag.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Mama Eartha lifted Cockroach No-Breath up into her arms and headed home with her Part Two, Sunshine. Not knowing the true name of her charge, mama Urfa called her Sunshine. This was how she'd referred to her in her thoughts all those years ago, when Sunshine had come to the waterfall on her own as a little one, and this was the spirit she was trying to help bring back into the broken young woman now in her care. Yet it took two-plus years before Sunshine was able to come back to herself and venture independently out into the world beyond Mama Eartha's glade. For a long time, her body could not keep food down, and Mama Eartha dedicated much of her time and energy to collecting, preparing and feeding her wholesome foods that still, little by little and very slowly, eventually reset her digestive and nourishment systems. Along with feeding her, mama Eartha called on many of her other skills in supporting self-managed healing skills.

Speaker 1: 6:57

In supporting self-managed healing. Although Sunshine was quite passive in the beginning, the aim was always to move her towards self-responsibility. So from bathing, massaging and gently manipulating Sunshine's frail body, they moved toward a shared body care. As her body grew stronger until Sunshine was able to manage her self-care unaided, they began doing a gentle stretching routine together in the mornings. That started with a self-massage that said a loving hello to the entire body. Together they walked within their shared space and then around it and after, after the first six months, sunshine slowly began to contribute to the practicalities of their abode.

Speaker 1: 7:45

At 12 months Sunshine found the strength to step outside alone. Prior to this, the states of her emotional, mental and nervous systems were dominated by fear. Initially she would curl up in the fetal position on the floor whenever anything out of the ordinary happened. This evolved into staying where she was, but freezing up and stiffening. Quite often at night she would wake up in a cold sweat, repeatedly screaming out or shouting no. Eventually, after she'd sobbed uncontrollably for many hours in Mama Eartha's soothing embrace, there was an emotional breakthrough.

Speaker 1: 8:29

Sunshine was mostly mute for the first year. Her communication abilities were stunted and minimal. A slight movement in the facial features, a flicker in the eyes. Mama Earther communicated with her normally and read what she could into how Sunshine responded in her limited way. Otherwise she spoke as if Sunshine had responded, and around all of this she sang. After a couple of this, she sang.

Speaker 1: 8:59

After a couple of months, at the point where Sunshine was able to sit up, stand and take slow, unsteady steps, mama Eartha introduced storytelling into their days. In the beginning she shared Earth-kind legends and folk tales that she knew. When she'd exhausted those, she began sharing stories of her life, weaving in her own commentary on the majestic realm she was part of and loved. Next, she began encouraging Sunshine to repeat a word or two after her, then a phrase, then a sentence. At first Sunshine's voice would not come. She was only able to mouth the words. Yet with patience, care and love, mama Eartha coaxed a whisper, a croaking, a soft, atonal voice and finally, when she'd combined breath and movement as part of their storytelling, she was able to imitate Mama Eartha's warm, gentle, modulated and musical voice. In the beginning, sunshine only repeated Mama Eartha's words exactly as they were spoken, but eventually a very basic form of communication returned to Sunshine yes and no, good morning and good night. Also, as a small child learns to talk, other single words began to come Tree, bird, rain, wind, sunshine. And then simple sentences like the sky is blue, the trees are green, it's cold. Yet Sunshine's language was mostly mechanical, not yet connected to her heart, her emotions, her inner self, her soul. Eventually, when Mama Eartha told her stories, she'd leave out a word at the end of the sentence for Sunshine to guess and say out loud. Then she left off a phrase or an obvious sentence. And before too long, in their daily storytelling sessions, mama Urfa and Sunshine were creating stories together, sentence by sentence, in turns, until the day when Sunshine told her first story alone, part 3. Sunshine's First Story the Tree.

Speaker 1: 11:27

From the moment she began to consciously recognise that she was part of a family, at around three or four years old, luna's deepest fear grew that she was ill-made and that her deepest self did not deserve a place in the world. This recognition grew because, unlike her siblings, who were rarely in trouble, she was always seen to be doing the wrong thing and forever being scolded. Her siblings mostly did what they were told, but as soon as Luna began to talk she questioned outer authority when it did not make sense to her inner, knowing this was not accepted in her home and unable to change her basic self, that boldly responded with inner honesty. She comforted herself with the thought that once she grew old and made her life in the world, she would be deeply loved and appreciated for who she was. She would then be able to live free and alive to her fullest and truest self and know her deepest self was worthy. And that was how it began, with her first love S along with the embrace of her independence, the excitement and stimulation of travel and stepping out into the wider realm with a partner, one who shared her life view of living from the heart, with inner truth and freedom aligned with nature and the discovery of deep love and passion From deep within.

Speaker 1: 12:56

Luna, in the arms of her lover, venus, rose up to explore and create throughout the realm with him. Yet it turned out that she had projected this sense of who they were as a couple onto S. He ended up being very much a product of his conventional, conservative and loveless upbringing. Her time with him came to be far worse than anything she had experienced as a child. Although conformists and critical of her way of being in the world, there was a love connection with her parents and they had always been there for her.

Speaker 1: 13:33

As time went on, s was not. He became more and more critical and played cruel games with her heart, her body, her mind and her soul. The fire of their passion became a pyre upon which Venus blazed into true worthlessness, and from her ashes cockroach no-breath was birthed. With the experience confirming that she was essentially ill-made and unworthy, an overwhelming shame and self-loathing grew inside her. This led to a breakdown which left her with a wall around her heart, always in an exhausting panic around others and an observer of her life, rather than deeply and organically immersed in and naturally flowing with it, as she had been with S up until things went sour. Eventually, living life like that became unbearable and she took herself out of life and to the cave by the waterfall to await death and rid the world of her worthless presence, until Mother Eartha came to her rescue and poured her generous love into Cockroach Nobreath, willing her back to life.

Speaker 1: 14:48

Mother Earther was also assisted by nature and one special day, just as the day's light was beginning to wane, cockroach No-Breath's attention was caught by a small, bare skeletal tree at the edge of the glade. She felt a deep affinity with the pathetic-looking tree and in her mind she said here we are ugly, useless, little nothings just taking up space. The realm will be better off when we are dead and gone. At that moment the tree before Cockroach No-Breath exploded with the most vibrant light she had ever seen, filling the glade and everything around her with a charged incandescence. The scene before her was beautiful beyond measure. I'm not an ugly, useless, little nothing.

Speaker 1: 15:46

She heard the tree powerfully respond. For those with eyes to see, the tree continued this is what I am and this is what you are too. This is what everything is Radiance. You are exquisitely made and of value, and life is a precious gift. You have been kicking life in the teeth. Cockroach no breath, or should I call you sunshine? As darkness fell, the incandescence outside slowly faded, yet it lived on inside sunshine. The tree had miraculously gifted her back her will to live. She now sat looking upon the tree with a deep knowing that a line had been drawn in the sand. It would be a long, hard road back to herself and away from Cockro no-breath, but she knew this experience with the tree and the deep care of Mama Urfa would sustain her.